fear of music

[Mr. FOLLARD]

Ever notice that people feel more comfortable talking about stuff around the music than the music itself?

I've had endless discussions on what iPod or mp3 player people use, and how long they've had it for (I mean, honestly!). The relative merits of vinyl, that's another one. 

I walk into work every day with my headphones on, taking them off at the very last minute to greet people. This has been the case for many years. And still to this day - not ONCE - this is honestly true - not ONCE has anyone asked me 'what are you listening to?'

[fange]

A true music fanatic would; they would want to know. I would ask you.

[Deleted]

Nov 16, 2019 13:30:02 GMT fange said:

A true music fanatic would; they would want to know. I would ask you.

This. If only to find out what kind of shit you like so I can feel superior in my elitist musical tastes.

Just kidding.

I find it interesting to find out what people like. My boss, who's a couple years younger than me, likes music, but has only recently really embraced it. I find it genuinely interesting that his favorite bands are Huey Lewis, ELO, and Chicago. Once in awhile, I'll try and suggest some lesser known artists/bands I think he might like. Not to turn him off the bands he does like, but to broaden his horizons a little bit.

[Deleted]

I think people are worried about getting into an awkward conversation which will quickly hit a brick wall.

" Oooh, you look like you're enjoying that..what is it?"

" It's the new song from Liam Payne. It's brilliant -do you want a listen?"

" What? No..I mean maybe..but not right now - I have a dentist appointment!"

[Mr. FOLLARD]

Music is seen as a very personal thing - it's like asking about your sex life. To some people, anyway. Maybe.

[Deleted]

Nov 16, 2019 15:52:15 GMT Mr. FOLLARD said:

Music is seen as a very personal thing - it's like asking about your sex life. To some people, anyway. Maybe.

Then people would be severely disappointed with my listening habits.

[Reactionary Rage]

Nov 16, 2019 15:01:15 GMT @madcyril1 said:

I think people are worried about getting into an awkward conversation which will quickly hit a brick wall.

" Oooh, you look like you're enjoying that..what is it?"

" It's the new song from Liam Payne. It's brilliant -do you want a listen?"

" What? No..I mean maybe..but not right now - I have a dentist appointment!"

Yeah, I mean 9/10 it's going nowhere.  

It's not really a conversation starter.  Best stick with "how woz yer weekend?" instead.

[Reactionary Rage]

Nov 16, 2019 15:52:15 GMT Mr. FOLLARD said:

Music is seen as a very personal thing - it's like asking about your sex life. To some people, anyway. Maybe.

I think so.  What do people talk about at work?  The work, the weather, what they did at the weekend.

Music?  Not really.  

[tory]

Musical taste is a volatile thing too. You talk about music and go in depth and suddenly they look at you as if you've farted in their face.

I did have a short chat with another teacher the other day where we agreed that the best Kraftwerk LP is Radioactivity. So that was nice.

[DarknessFish]

I had the opposite of this happen yesterday, if opposite of non-music conversations is a thing. The bloke who lives across the road from me, must be in his 70s, and every so often grabs me for a chat when I leave the house. Yesterday he just came over and said, "Dave, you work in Southport don't you? I've been around that way quite a lot recenty, I'm doing a lot of Northern Soul DJ sets..." Never mentioned music to me before in the 6 years I've lived here, and it turns out that he's somekind of Northern Soul guru. Just a random out of the blue comment, and the bloody shame of it was that I didn't have time to hang around and chat. I bet he never brings it up again now.

Anyway, yeah, it's quite often a near pointless conversation, most people just see music as a thing to stop silence or something, I don't know. Headphones on when jogging, or when on the train, but have no particular need to hear more than 200 different songs ever. Bit of a non-sequitur, but I just thought of it...I remember another neighbour trying to show off his really expensive amp and speaker set-up, and to show off its qualities he put Abba Goldon. I mean, regardless of your opinion on Abba (and you can guess mine), it's not going to show off a lot of dynamic range, or make you feel like you can hear the detail of the instrumentation. I just didn't understand why he felt the need, when he didn't really have much of an opinion about music.

[Deleted]

I usually end up making friends with people at work who are into sports and music. I recently gave a co-worker around 1,500 CDs I had in my storage closet - store bought and downloaded. He's been sending me photos on the phone of the ones he's keeping. I had some good shit.

He used to sit in the cubicle next to me, but he was moved to a warehouse location, not far away, because he's in shipping/logistics. He was also a big sports fan like me so it was nice to have him right next to me. Our productivity has probably gotten better now that we're separated.

[loveless]

There's the sort of opposite scenario where a very specific signifier ("He was wearing a Neil Young badge when I met him...", that sort of thing) can really spark off an in depth and/or long lasting interaction/bonding. I've had one friend for about 15 years now who started talking to me because I'd put on a specific record at a mutual friend's party. I went to look at espresso makers at a high end home goods store a few months ago, and somehow the salesman and I ended up talking about Brian Wilson/Beach Boys for far longer than would seem appropriate in an active retail environment. And so on...I'm sure we all have these stories where we have bonded to strangers through music, but (and this may be crucial to what you are getting at) NOT in any sort of generic "Oh, you like music, do you?" way.

The problem, I think, is that the odds don't favor a similarity of taste between people of non musical acquaintance. Our house is FILLED with musical instruments, records, and other related ephemera, but...when we've had parties for the kids birthdays, I've generally tended to talk a pretty wide circle around any related inquiries from the other parents (if they were the sort of people who started flipping through my LPs, or who made telliongly specific remarks, that would be a whole different thing, obviously). If someone is WAY the fuck into music, that's a thing, right? You can (if nothing else) be bonded on THAT, whatever your divergences may be, but...I dunno...you go too far afield of SOME shared obsession/common ground and...I dunno...it can get a little awkward. I'm not saying "Well, look - everyone else has awful taste", but...maybe a milder variant of that?

I remember DJing in a bar that I worked in for something like 13 years - early on (maybe 1995/6?) a customer came in and decided we were gonna talk music cause...well, I suppose you'll have to ask him. Anyhow, he starts talking about all of this really standard issue carpetbagger bottom of the barrel mainstream alternative (I mean, I'm talking about groups like Bush - really grim shit) with no shortage of enthusiasm, and I sort of politely made some gently discouraging remark about "Yeah, that's not really my sort of thing", and he just kept going...

It's no amazing story, but...I think if any person spends enough time on either side of enough of those interactions, a certain avoidance naturally develops. Social media, the internet, all of these things - I think a picture increasingly develops of "the average stranger" going a very different way with this sort of thing. There's people who just don't really have any real relationship with music (and I think the average music board member would look like a bit of a nutter to that person), and then there's the whole thing where we're just sort of (because we are - in the main - increasingly less and less troll like as internet living goes into decade number three) scrolling past and smiling politely at the realization that our musical tastes diverge quite so wildly with other people who DO take pictures of records or check in at concerts.

[quaco]

Nov 16, 2019 11:00:19 GMT Mr. FOLLARD said:

Ever notice that people feel more comfortable talking about stuff around the music than the music itself?

I've had endless discussions on what iPod or mp3 player people use, and how long they've had it for (I mean, honestly!). The relative merits of vinyl, that's another one. 

I walk into work every day with my headphones on, taking them off at the very last minute to greet people. This has been the case for many years. And still to this day - not ONCE - this is honestly true - not ONCE has anyone asked me 'what are you listening to?'

People can have really different views on music, but people are also pretty clueless and start dumb conversations often, so I agree, it's odd no one's ever happened to ask you -- even if it likely is a blessing in some way.

[Reactionary Rage]

I largely gave up trying to start conversations about music in my early 20s. It's rarely satisfying and mostly pointless.

[fonz]

I’m on this board cause I love music, just like all of us , right?

But, the moment you lot start talking about all those shitty groups you like, I switch off.

Just like real life.

It’s the fact that you’re all passionate that I like, and can identify with. That how we have ‘bonded’.