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Post by Reactionary Rage on Jun 14, 2022 10:54:50 GMT
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Post by Half Machine Lipschitz on Jun 14, 2022 10:55:10 GMT
I made out okay in the genetic lottery, and so far it's only getting better with time, although I can see the telltale signs of impending age - a slight sag around the jawline, bags under the eyes, etc. I suppose it's helped open doors for me, but not in any major way, although that's mostly down to laziness on my part. I do sometimes wonder if it's something I could've taken advantage of earlier in life if I'd been more driven toward "success", whatever that might've meant. Who knows. I'm quite content these days, but it's always a nice little pick-me-up to notice a pretty woman checking me out.
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Jun 14, 2022 11:06:41 GMT
How many people are happy with their face, you know? Christ, even good looking people have a tendency to focus on the flaws so our self-perception is naturally warped. Put it this way, I'm always happier with my old faces than I am with my current one!
There was a period in my mid-late 20s when I felt a lot happier with my face though. I was young, had good skin, was thin in that natural youthful way where you had eat any old shit and not balloon up. I still had cheekbones and some definition and people would look, which is nice, but then in my 30s I put on weight and became less happy with the old puss. Now I'm somewhere in between. It is what it is but it'll be a few years yet before I make complete peace with it. I daresay when I'm 60 I'll look back and think, "actually you weren't that bad looking ya daft cunt" and I'll look in the mirror and see somebody else staring back at me and the pain and regret of not recognising what you had in the moment will become very obvious and stark. Oh well.
I could still do with losing some of this damn weight!
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Post by cousinlou on Jun 14, 2022 13:20:34 GMT
I meant to get back to this... A security man at the airport started me thinking. He had a good face, bit of Steve Buscemi. Not handsome but characterful and kind somehow. I guessed that from just seeing him but when I got closer I could see he was making a lot of eye-contact with travellers, reassuring them with a little smile once he'd dealt with them. It struck me that it's a kind of chicken-and-egg thing with people's faces - does your face actually 'betray' your character, or do people treat you a certain way (with suspicion, enthusiasm, hostility) because of your face and consequently that BECOMES your character? I lean toward believing the latter theory.
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Sneelock
god
you're gonna break another heart
Posts: 8,546
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Post by Sneelock on Jun 14, 2022 15:11:08 GMT
me too but I do think there are some lucky winners who are blessed with the ability of being good to look at no matter how gnarled and twisted they are inside.
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Jun 14, 2022 15:22:56 GMT
I don’t. Your character is your morals, principles, temperament and that’s largely innate. It’s just who you are.
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Post by oh oooh on Jun 14, 2022 15:42:47 GMT
Yes but surely the way people talk to you over the long term influences the way you are?
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Post by Markus on Jun 14, 2022 15:44:22 GMT
Dr Phil says you tell people how to treat you by the way you interact with them.
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Post by oh oooh on Jun 14, 2022 15:52:45 GMT
Dr Phil talks through his BUTT
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Post by Markus on Jun 14, 2022 15:56:28 GMT
No, that's just the Texan accent.
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Jun 14, 2022 16:41:27 GMT
Yes but surely the way people talk to you over the long term influences the way you are? Has it done that to you much? Does it really make that much of a difference to your character how people generally talk to you because of your face? In a job your social persona might be influenced by it but in life? You said it "becomes" their character but I don't believe we are that influenced by other people really. We're largely set in stone by a certain age. I mean most people are pretty average looking and people in my experience are pretty neutral or polite to people as a general rule. Perhaps if somebody was very ugly people might actually be nicer to them because they feel sorry for them you know which might grate? Yes, very good looking people do better in life because people naturally have an affinity for attractive people and mistake physical beauty for inner beauty so they have to deal with that somehow but how much of that bias impacts on their actual character, I dunno. For some it might make it easier to exploit people but then you'd have to assume they are that kind of person anyway. I guess you could maybe put forward actors and famous people as examples of people where the lines between persona and character seriously blur but they are a very odd, rare group of people.
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Post by oh oooh on Jun 14, 2022 16:48:24 GMT
It's the old nature vs nurture thing and although I've always believed (like you) that you're born a certain way - it's innate - I'm seeing more and more that points to the influence of your surroundings, your interactions, your experiences over time as being the most significant factor.
I dunno - it just doesn't ring true, but still...
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Jun 14, 2022 17:06:26 GMT
The cultural/environmental influence is, I suspect, mostly from your formative years.
Take the fella at the airport. Maybe he is just that kind of person and he has a way with people and he's found a job that suits his character. Conversely we all come across people who work with the public who have the wrong temperament but are stuck in some job where they have to suck it up.
And there is a big difference between your work/public personas and who you are because there has to be. The former is influenced by your surroundings and who you encounter but that's a game we all have to play, with varying degrees of skill! One time at work a local authority clerk praised me for my patience and telephone manner which made me laugh because if she could see/hear what I do on the other end of the line she'd understand that I am not patient at all, I fucking hate these cunts, and that I regularly gurn, grimace, pull faces when I have to deal with people over the phone. To the point where my colleagues laughed out loud when I told them was she said.
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Post by sloopjohnc on Jun 14, 2022 17:51:51 GMT
I don't look in the mirror much. Only if my hair doesn't look crazy and after shaving so it doesn't come up much.
What would I do about it anyway?
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Post by quix on Jun 19, 2022 12:50:04 GMT
Hmmm…. I used to be generally very happy with my face. It’s not very interesting but it’s symmetrical which makes it easier for people to relate to and like. BUT since I turned 50 something DREADFUL has been happening to it and it’s started to SAG and it’s sagging more one side than the other. Oh the HORROR!!!
Don’t get me started on my neck. I’ve tried using sellotape.
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