toomanyhatz
god
I've met him/her. He/she's great!!
Posts: 3,241
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Post by toomanyhatz on Nov 10, 2022 2:02:41 GMT
40s are definitely when the body starts rebelling. Nothing like the 50s, though!
For what it's worth, and this is only my personal experience, my 40s were my favorite decade I've lived through so far as far as being able to balance having a variety of interesting experiences but being somewhat settled in a lifestyle that works for me. 50s were great - was happily married for the whole time for one - but I couldn't do as much without having to shut down to regenerate.
As far as realizing mortality, I've found that very freeing. It's the first time you really realize that you could be hit by a bus or a heart attack any second and not see it coming. The positive realization for me was realizing that this had ALWAYS been true - since the day I was born, as it is for all of us - but the older you get the more personal control you have over bettering your chances.
God knows how I'll feel in ten years, but at the moment I feel pretty comfortable in my skin.
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fonz
god
Posts: 2,570
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Early 40s
Nov 10, 2022 8:11:35 GMT
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Post by fonz on Nov 10, 2022 8:11:35 GMT
Yeah, that is important. I've been swimming 4/5 times a week for over a year now. I did swim quite a bit before that but had a year long break when the pool shut down at work but I'm committed to swimming this amount (50+ 25m lengths front crawl) for the foreseeable future. It's definitely helped me with avoiding little aches and pains that I noticed I was getting before. Plus it's helped me lose quite a bit of weight which is good for when I start dating again! Sad as that sounds. I could drink less. It's hard when you're on your own not to drink at the weekends, you know? When I was with the ex that was constrained a bit but two nights a week doesn't seem massively excessive though. I could eat more veg and maybe I should move towards a more veggie diet. You do have to start making changes and planning don't you? Which in itself is a new experience because when you're young you couldn't give a fuck could you? When I was a stoner I'd eat shitloads and never put on weight even though I did zero exercise. Two nights a week should be alright- unless you’re really caning the spirits. But it’s when it creeps, insidiously, into school nights that it becomes something to really pay attention to. I love beer and I’d drink it every day if it wasn’t unhealthy. I have to consciously avoid going to the fridge 2-4 nights a week for ‘just a cheeky beer’.
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Post by osgood on Nov 10, 2022 8:22:35 GMT
My 40s were a professional high and a personal low, and can't help linking one to the other. By the end of the decade I had divorced and started to live with a new girlfriend (my current wife) and had downshifted professionally. And feeling much better since.
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fonz
god
Posts: 2,570
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Early 40s
Nov 10, 2022 18:46:20 GMT
via mobile
Post by fonz on Nov 10, 2022 18:46:20 GMT
Coming back to this topic again and again… it’s been on my mind ‘cause I’m reading ‘The seven ages of death’ by Dr Richard Shepherd, a retired Quincy. He goes into all of this stuff in the book, whilst describing interesting cases he’s been involved with ( Dr David Kelly, ‘the spy in the bag’, etc) I recommend it. I got it on a kindle daily deal for a quid, but it’s worth buying full price. www.penguin.co.uk/books/320487/the-seven-ages-of-death-by-shepherd-dr-richard/9781405947107
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Post by sloopjohnc on Nov 16, 2022 23:16:19 GMT
I was too busy working and taking care of children at 43. At one point, I resigned myself to the fact I was never going to do anything stupendous that I thought I might vaguely pull off when I got older thinking about life in my 20s.
I resigned myself that my kids would be my primary legacy.
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Nov 17, 2022 10:33:43 GMT
I was too busy working and taking care of children at 43. At one point, I resigned myself to the fact I was never going to do anything stupendous that I thought I might vaguely pull off when I got older thinking about life in my 20s. I resigned myself that my kids would be my primary legacy. Alas I have little more than vintage wine and memories. It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself "I will never win the BCB cup." When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases.
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Post by Reasonable good Nick on Nov 17, 2022 13:05:24 GMT
I had three or four bouts of very bad depression between my early twenties and mid-thirties, one of which was rough enough to make me genuinely not want to go on living any more. Each of them lasted a few months. I'm now 49, and I'm very thankful that nothing like that has recurred in the last fifteen years. Hopefully it's fucked off for good.
I did feel a bit lost in my early forties, but it wasn't depression, or even unhappiness. The best way to describe it is anhedonia, a malaise of the spirit. It passed with time.
By contrast, over the last few years I've probably been happier than ever before. Partly that's related to material things in my life - Cath and I are financially all right, and I have a job that I like and am tolerably good at, and it's as secure as anything can be these days. I'm back to travelling for work a fair bit again, and I've been reminded how much I enjoy that.
But I know it's more than that. Spiritually, I'm mostly at peace. I'm happily and securely married, my daughters are grown up and making their respective ways in the world and they both seem relatively at ease with what they're doing, despite all the external contretemps of the last half-decade or so. My physical and mental health is - touch wood - pretty good and I have a lot of interests that occupy my time in an enjoyable and satisfactory way.
I don't spend much time on social media, I rarely argue with anyone, and I don't pay much attention to the news.
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Post by Reasonable good Nick on Nov 17, 2022 13:13:08 GMT
Yeah, that is important. I've been swimming 4/5 times a week for over a year now. I did swim quite a bit before that but had a year long break when the pool shut down at work but I'm committed to swimming this amount (50+ 25m lengths front crawl) for the foreseeable future. It's definitely helped me with avoiding little aches and pains that I noticed I was getting before. Plus it's helped me lose quite a bit of weight which is good for when I start dating again! Sad as that sounds. I could drink less. It's hard when you're on your own not to drink at the weekends, you know? When I was with the ex that was constrained a bit but two nights a week doesn't seem massively excessive though. I could eat more veg and maybe I should move towards a more veggie diet. You do have to start making changes and planning don't you? Which in itself is a new experience because when you're young you couldn't give a fuck could you? When I was a stoner I'd eat shitloads and never put on weight even though I did zero exercise. Two nights a week should be alright- unless you’re really caning the spirits. But it’s when it creeps, insidiously, into school nights that it becomes something to really pay attention to. I love beer and I’d drink it every day if it wasn’t unhealthy. I have to consciously avoid going to the fridge 2-4 nights a week for ‘just a cheeky beer’. Yeah, I have to watch myself with that, partly because I can drink quite a lot and not get hammered. We were out last Saturday for a friend's birthday though and I had only three beers over the whole night, I just wasn't in the mood to drink much. I generally try to have at least four nights a week when I don't drink anything, not least because I sleep much better if I haven't.
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Post by tory on Nov 17, 2022 17:14:33 GMT
I've given up beer and only drink wine during school holidays. I feel a little better for it; thankfully I've managed to maintain a relatively good weight since I went back to work in 2019 and don't really have much of a "gut". I've been a steady 34 waist for a while now.
Our maxim is - don't buy beer to have at home and only buy expensive wine so that if you do feel "oh I'll crack open a bottle" you don't because you need to have it for a special occasion or good food.
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Post by sloopjohnc on Nov 17, 2022 18:57:59 GMT
I did feel a bit lost in my early forties, but it wasn't depression, or even unhappiness. The best way to describe it is anhedoniaGesundheit
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Post by sloopjohnc on Nov 17, 2022 19:04:45 GMT
Yeah, that is important. I've been swimming 4/5 times a week for over a year now. I did swim quite a bit before that but had a year long break when the pool shut down at work but I'm committed to swimming this amount (50+ 25m lengths front crawl) for the foreseeable future. It's definitely helped me with avoiding little aches and pains that I noticed I was getting before. Plus it's helped me lose quite a bit of weight which is good for when I start dating again! Sad as that sounds. I could drink less. It's hard when you're on your own not to drink at the weekends, you know? When I was with the ex that was constrained a bit but two nights a week doesn't seem massively excessive though. I could eat more veg and maybe I should move towards a more veggie diet. You do have to start making changes and planning don't you? Which in itself is a new experience because when you're young you couldn't give a fuck could you? When I was a stoner I'd eat shitloads and never put on weight even though I did zero exercise. I started back swimming three weeks ago after not swimming laps for nearly 30 years. I feel great after doing it. I started out with 40 laps and going to keep at that for awhile. I want to work up to 60 - that's a mile in a meter pool. The only bad thing is the rec pool I swim at is they have indoor 25 yard pool and outdoor 25 meter pool. Lap swimming indoors is limited, but outdoor lap swimming is 5:30 to 8:30 at night. It's been mid 40s or colder this week so it's fucking freezing getting in and out.
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Post by tory on Feb 18, 2024 12:14:52 GMT
I started calisthenics in the new year as an exercise regime - it's around 25-30 mins of stretches, push ups and stuff like that. I can't be arsed with the gym or running to be honest, so doing this at home helps. It has helped a bit, but more importantly, I notice when I don't do it (like the last week where I've been off for half-term), that I start to ache a bit.
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