Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2019 17:19:50 GMT
I must say I think it's the worst round yet, but for what it's worth here's what I thought of the selections..
Norse: Sven Alvarsson - Tystnad
The Swedish master gives us 12 minutes of minimal techno where literally nothing happens. Said Pitchfork "the seminal record that launched ComatoseCore." Soporific. 0/10
Machuki - Los Hombres Incompetento -Ai!Ai!Ai!Hey!
Mexican ska as relentless and repetitive as a crying baby. Guaranteed to get Frat parties swinging. Jejune. 0/10
John Coan - Mud - Tiger Feet.
Obvious. 1/10
Loki: Brad Flashman - Ride it Out Baby. A non-descript radio hit from 1976. Banal power pop relying on a much borrowed riff and a sickly production. It will win of course. Insurmountable. 1/10
Pandascream: The Debonaires - How Sweet the Moon
Doo Wop from 1895. So authentic that the crackles are louder than the harmonies. Antiquated. 0/10
Fonz: Whippet of Death - Grinder.
Noisecore that rocks like a mental patient. A lobotomy is a blessed relief in comparison. Disturbing. 0/10
G: Honey Harmony - Equators of the Sun:
15 minutes of limp jazz-funk, 12 minutes of which are taken up by a garrulous flute. More energy heard in elevators. 0/10
DayotheDead: The Danse Society - Dead in Barnsley:
Three minutes of scratchy guitar and tuneless hollering. Turgid. 1/10
Sloop: Kelly Milano - Sex Up My Booty Boy!
Anodyne, juvenile contemporary r n 'b designed to titillate corporate events everywhere. Unsexy. 0/10
Skope - The Jan Kostik Explosion - Love Me and then Bugger Off
From the manic centre of Belgrade's freakbeat scene, this 1967 b-side features Kostic shouting "yeah baby I want it I want it I want it" over some indeterminate feedback. Monotonous. 1/10.
Osgood: The Grateful Dead - Soloing in Saturn
Garcia's magnum opus as he solos for 47 days as captured in this live offering from their legendary Pittsburgh 1978 concert. The 15 audience fatalities from heat exhaustion, boredom and malnutrition should not be allowed to detract from the essentialness of this cut. Exploratory. 2/10.
Ranking Ted - Primal Scream - Get your Cocks Out Darling (Danny Rampling remix)
Crude attempt to jump on the Britpop bandwagon from a tired and emotional Gillespie. Insipid. 0/10
C***: Benny K Parker - Hot Dog Friday
Leiber & Stoller classic featuring latin percussion, rich harmonies and a boring tune. Generic. 0/10
Darkness Fish: Chloride - Tenebris Desperandum
Gentle, drifting English folk is cruelly mixed with the sounds and screams of an abbatoir. The abbatoir sections proving to be more melodic than the folk sections. Pretentious. 9/10.
Oleander Meridian: Maureen Mourinho - Virar Minha Viagem
Shrill and bombastic Portugese disco from 1975. Incomprehensible.1/10
Hatz Roy Harper -Where's Me Whistle?
A deep cut from Harper, so deep in fact that there are only two copies in existence. Recorded on the number 39 bus to Oldham as a drunken Harper bemoans the loss of his whistle. The bus conductor is on fiddle. That's how you do it folks. 0/10
SpaceBurger The Colllapsing Geometrics - Anthrax Holiday
Experimental art punk from 1979. Kevin Ayres plays triangle and Charles Haywood falls asleep. Aloof. 0/10
Fange The Chester Williams Quartet - Honky Wonky Wanky
Licensed to Oriola, a sub-label of Detroit's Stargazer which was an offshoot of Chicago label Asteroid, this 1968 live cut features William's visceral grunting over a horn section of fat blokes. Tiresome. 1/10
Goat Boy: Pheobe Watkins- Watkins Jones - The Feminine Reverie of Tomorrow
Posh bird waffles on over layers of over-production, 36 different instruments and 12 psycho-analytical sessions. The Observer 2002 record of the year. Sophisticated. 0/10
Alejandro - Wolfgang Stelecropostokolopolis- |>~~
A 52 minute classical piece featuring the kazoo being played in a way that mixes atonal atrophy with freeform anxiety. Tuneful.1/10
I really don't want to have to put up with this in round eight.
Norse: Sven Alvarsson - Tystnad
The Swedish master gives us 12 minutes of minimal techno where literally nothing happens. Said Pitchfork "the seminal record that launched ComatoseCore." Soporific. 0/10
Machuki - Los Hombres Incompetento -Ai!Ai!Ai!Hey!
Mexican ska as relentless and repetitive as a crying baby. Guaranteed to get Frat parties swinging. Jejune. 0/10
John Coan - Mud - Tiger Feet.
Obvious. 1/10
Loki: Brad Flashman - Ride it Out Baby. A non-descript radio hit from 1976. Banal power pop relying on a much borrowed riff and a sickly production. It will win of course. Insurmountable. 1/10
Pandascream: The Debonaires - How Sweet the Moon
Doo Wop from 1895. So authentic that the crackles are louder than the harmonies. Antiquated. 0/10
Fonz: Whippet of Death - Grinder.
Noisecore that rocks like a mental patient. A lobotomy is a blessed relief in comparison. Disturbing. 0/10
G: Honey Harmony - Equators of the Sun:
15 minutes of limp jazz-funk, 12 minutes of which are taken up by a garrulous flute. More energy heard in elevators. 0/10
DayotheDead: The Danse Society - Dead in Barnsley:
Three minutes of scratchy guitar and tuneless hollering. Turgid. 1/10
Sloop: Kelly Milano - Sex Up My Booty Boy!
Anodyne, juvenile contemporary r n 'b designed to titillate corporate events everywhere. Unsexy. 0/10
Skope - The Jan Kostik Explosion - Love Me and then Bugger Off
From the manic centre of Belgrade's freakbeat scene, this 1967 b-side features Kostic shouting "yeah baby I want it I want it I want it" over some indeterminate feedback. Monotonous. 1/10.
Osgood: The Grateful Dead - Soloing in Saturn
Garcia's magnum opus as he solos for 47 days as captured in this live offering from their legendary Pittsburgh 1978 concert. The 15 audience fatalities from heat exhaustion, boredom and malnutrition should not be allowed to detract from the essentialness of this cut. Exploratory. 2/10.
Ranking Ted - Primal Scream - Get your Cocks Out Darling (Danny Rampling remix)
Crude attempt to jump on the Britpop bandwagon from a tired and emotional Gillespie. Insipid. 0/10
C***: Benny K Parker - Hot Dog Friday
Leiber & Stoller classic featuring latin percussion, rich harmonies and a boring tune. Generic. 0/10
Darkness Fish: Chloride - Tenebris Desperandum
Gentle, drifting English folk is cruelly mixed with the sounds and screams of an abbatoir. The abbatoir sections proving to be more melodic than the folk sections. Pretentious. 9/10.
Oleander Meridian: Maureen Mourinho - Virar Minha Viagem
Shrill and bombastic Portugese disco from 1975. Incomprehensible.1/10
Hatz Roy Harper -Where's Me Whistle?
A deep cut from Harper, so deep in fact that there are only two copies in existence. Recorded on the number 39 bus to Oldham as a drunken Harper bemoans the loss of his whistle. The bus conductor is on fiddle. That's how you do it folks. 0/10
SpaceBurger The Colllapsing Geometrics - Anthrax Holiday
Experimental art punk from 1979. Kevin Ayres plays triangle and Charles Haywood falls asleep. Aloof. 0/10
Fange The Chester Williams Quartet - Honky Wonky Wanky
Licensed to Oriola, a sub-label of Detroit's Stargazer which was an offshoot of Chicago label Asteroid, this 1968 live cut features William's visceral grunting over a horn section of fat blokes. Tiresome. 1/10
Goat Boy: Pheobe Watkins- Watkins Jones - The Feminine Reverie of Tomorrow
Posh bird waffles on over layers of over-production, 36 different instruments and 12 psycho-analytical sessions. The Observer 2002 record of the year. Sophisticated. 0/10
Alejandro - Wolfgang Stelecropostokolopolis- |>~~
A 52 minute classical piece featuring the kazoo being played in a way that mixes atonal atrophy with freeform anxiety. Tuneful.1/10
I really don't want to have to put up with this in round eight.