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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2020 16:11:57 GMT
That article was a load of shit btw. Garden owners have forced the closure of public parks. What a load of ill-informed toss. It's nothing to do with garden owners. Just another blogger/ journalist with an agenda exploiting the crisis to indulge their own ideological obsessions.
By pointing out that some of the social media outrage is rooted in class prejudice?
By making the kind of utterly baseless statements such as the example I quoted. Toby's obsessed with posting this stuff and I'm seriously fed up of reading it. It"s as bad as Jimbo on BCB. I should just ignore it I know.
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Post by tory on Mar 25, 2020 16:40:48 GMT
I'm not "obsessed" with posting it FFS.
Wind your neck in.
Someone might have a different perspective to your unsurpassed wisdom and intelligence.
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Sneelock
god
Ice Cream by night
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Post by Sneelock on Mar 25, 2020 16:49:22 GMT
I don't think kittens are cute. little fuckers oughta be drowned. I'm entitled to an opinion, right? all those kitten lovers think they are so damned superior!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2020 16:58:59 GMT
I'm not "obsessed" with posting it FFS. Wind your neck in. Someone might have a different perspective to your unsurpassed wisdom and intelligence. It's just the usual tedious alt right obsession with the "metropolitan elite" . It has absolutely nothing useful to say about this crisis at all but is instead using it for cheap some political point scoring.
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Sneelock
god
Ice Cream by night
Posts: 9,057
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Post by Sneelock on Mar 25, 2020 16:59:54 GMT
TRUMP is using his Corona-Virus pressers to replace the Red Meat Rallies he can't really hold right now. he's talking about "getting back to normal" by Easter. Easter is just around the corner! hearing that guy talk about normal under these circumstances is enough to make one hate kittens.
(I have two cats and I love 'em. I'm talking a little more nonsense than usual. please stand by)
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Post by fonz on Mar 25, 2020 19:02:16 GMT
here's something for ya Coronavirus: a terrifying pandemic or a chance to clear some debts, while strengthening the old personal brand? It really depends on who you are, says John Calvert, in his new round up column, which will be updated regularly, right here
Day One: Despatches From Quarantine/ Postcards From The Edge (Of Barnet)
This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with some bollocks sneezing on your eyebrow in Finsbury. And you grabbed my hand and we fell into it. Like a daydream, or a fever.
As of this week I’m getting less fresh air or sunlight than the average Cumbrian Incel. I’m cardiomyopic, I’m asthmatic, and quite possibly I’m emphysemic - I smoke as much as a longshoreman in 1950s Sunderland. My liver looks like rural bathtub meth embedded in rye bread. All told, there were tail-gunners over Schweinfurt with a longer life expectancy than me. I’m prepared to go out like a gentleman but I swear, if I choke it and the chancers who’ve been using the Coronacrisis as a platform to peddle their artistic wares live I’m going to be very annoyed.
First thing I see is that Gary Barlow and JC Chavez have teamed up for an online gig. I should think this is the first of many such ‘bedroom concerts’ in the coming months, from artists of all stripes. Barlow’s a Tory turd, and had his Dad never introduced him to Elton John, he’d be an avuncular policeman in Preston right now, but I dig the concept. How about Sun O)))) from the interior of their all-white marble mausoleum at the gates of hell? Or Alan Vega from his tomb in Graceland, playing the dead flag blues? How about the Outbreak monkey performing from his cage in a secret military base under a Utah mountain range, just chatting random shit about bananas and fucking?
Meanwhile in North America, a lot of people I really did admire once trade verses of John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ on Instagram, in quite the most asinine example of fart-smelling Hollywood earnestness since Emma Stone won an Oscar for risible Gap advert La La Land and in her acceptance speech declared it “One for the dreamers.”
Back to London where Bono, the answer to the question nobody is asking right now, writes a song for Coronavirus. It’s generic, it’s blandly universal, it’s fundamentally meaningless. It’s U2. And much like their auto-installed iTunes album it only exists because, these days, evidently we have no choice but to eat shit. Which is because, in 2020, the world is ruled by the wholly un-self-aware, whose blind self-assurance and rank opportunism in the face of existential irrelevance has to become everyone else's problem. It’s like the Titanic’s going down and Bono’s on a nearby tugboat shouting “OOOOOOOH will yee look at me big feckin' Oirish heart?! I’m not an entertainer, I'm an international statesman!” until a member of staff shoots him in the glasses for creating panic. As legend has it, once during a lightning storm on a passenger jet, Bono leaned across the aisle to comfort a concerned nearby passenger. ”Don’t worry kid,” he said, “it’s just God taking pictures.” Yeah well I disagree. I think God saw his chance and he fucked it.
Speaking of rank opportunism and the public having to eat the shit of the newly irrelevant (quite literally, in this case), Jamie Oliver has been commissioned to present his own Coronovirus cooking show. It’s to be called Keep Cooking And Carry On (because of fucking course it is) and will feature Oliver wanking around his soon-to-be reclaimed £7million flat in Islington and generally talking like Goldie while teaching people how to cook in a crisis. The only crisis here is his impending insolvency. That and his crisis of identity, as every morning he wakes up a 52-year-old geezer forced to peddle that same FHM-brand of ersatz youthful Britishness, just so that in a month he isn't sleeping in the same room as nineteen Manc ex-cons in a disused Textiles factory in post-apocalyptic Yarm. But, hey, in the end just keep on telling yourself it’s about helping us - the little people, and that's important to remember; like not letting your kids eat breaded turkey. And just keep on telling yourself it's not about Oliver’s bottom line.
This just in: Marcus Mumford piano-dicks ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ for Corona. The hashtag ‘You’ll Never Wank Alone” is trending within the hour, because the Great British Public are fucking amazing.
I can almost see him now, the big melon, sat there in his depression-era braces and Fratboy joggers, phoning Ed or other men called Marcus or his mate Jordan Peterson to go on about his weeping heroism, perhaps as a dutiful Carrie bakes her famous jam tarts in preparation for a Tory lovemaking session involving sophisticated pulley systems and medieval-style pegging. Bare dungeon shit. Yeah that’s Marcus - the David Cameron of indie; the caring Conservative covering the LFC anthem with the utmost degree of doe-eyed, indie-sensitive altruism, despite it being almost guaranteed a member of his extended family in the Lords voted against the Hillsborough inquest.
I’ve eaten 13 party rings since noon and all day I stare at my collapsing face in family Skype calls, where conversation topics range from classist genocide to mortgage holidays to “Is mum ok for eggs?” I can’t focus. Or think straight. I try to chat to girls but I keep thinking about World War III. The multi-cellular virus that is Donald Trump, who in recent press conferences looks to be experiencing history's most protracted mini-stroke, still has the launch codes.
Yeah the ship’s going down and we’re still in the kitchen making noodles. I hear stories like my mate's drug delivery guy owns a Hazmat suit now, or that my girlfriend’s accountant bought a baseball bat on Amazon in case martial law is declared in Walthamstow. At tQ we’re forwarded actual real-life PR emails advertising ‘exciting opportunities’ in the sex industry for McDonalds workers on unpaid sick leave. As we speak, even Keith Richards, who of course cannot be killed by conventional weapons, is in Chelsea shitting it, dislodging his last mystical douchebag in preparation for the big one.
The band has stop playing but we’re still dancing. 'The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore'. Hard times ahead. But while the chief plays 'Sunshine On Leith', we’ll fight this together.thequietus.com/articles/28011-corona-bollocks-life-in-the-time-of-c-19The reference to 'the average Cumbrian incel' in the first para made me chuckle
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Post by Half Machine Lipschitz on Mar 25, 2020 19:17:13 GMT
And I appreciated the Minutemen reference.
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Post by Playground LEVINE on Mar 25, 2020 19:22:59 GMT
I don't know any Cumbrian men who aren't incels...
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Post by Cousin Lou on Mar 25, 2020 19:32:48 GMT
TRUMP is using his Corona-Virus pressers to replace the Red Meat Rallies he can't really hold right now. he's talking about "getting back to normal" by Easter. Easter is just around the corner! hearing that guy talk about normal under these circumstances is enough to make one hate kittens.
(I have two cats and I love 'em. I'm talking a little more nonsense than usual. please stand by)
Getting back to normal sothat his hotels aren’t empty anymore
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Post by Playground LEVINE on Mar 25, 2020 20:50:28 GMT
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Post by Playground LEVINE on Mar 26, 2020 8:38:40 GMT
FUCK-ALL in Lidl just now. I came out with a loaf and some ham. I suppose it's edible.
Raining, too.
In a couple more weeks people will be coughing over each other just for fun. "YOU'VE BEEN CORONA'D!"
Desperate desperate days.
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Post by The Red Heifer on Mar 26, 2020 9:09:02 GMT
Had to go to Penrith Plaza this afternoon to grab a few things before what I assume will be lockdown sometime soon and the joint was fucking deserted. A quarter of the shops were already shut as it was. Maybe people are actually getting the message and staying home.
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rayge
Administrator
hopeful
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Post by rayge on Mar 26, 2020 9:18:46 GMT
Here in this corner of urban, not particularly middle-class, Zummerzet most everything is shut down, people are social distancing in queues without argument or obvious rancour, the streets and parks are largely empty, supermarkets are rationing but there's plenty on the shelves, at least in the early morning, and we've had five days of no rain for the first time since, ooh, October. I know it's shit for people locked up in the big cities and without the physical or financial means to mitigate isolation and cabin fever, but here there's just an element of unreality about it all.
Not that I'm not taking it seriously or coming over all Jimbo about it, it's just cognitive dissonance is setting in.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2020 10:29:00 GMT
In a couple more weeks people will be coughing over each other just for fun. "YOU'VE BEEN CORONA'D!" Desperate desperate days.
Kids have already started that.
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Post by hippopotamus on Mar 26, 2020 13:25:26 GMT
My brother is in New Zealand. He and his wife went there for a 6 month orthopaedic fellowship, and then of course this hit. New Zealand had a very aggressive early response despite only a few cases. I initially thought, it's one of the better places to be stuck... but I think the panic from my family has been infecting me just a bit. Apparently there's only 1 flight out a week, and lots of places you normally have to fly through (like Australia) have stopped all transit through. And his fellowship has not quite worked out as planned, as they have stopped all elective surgeries.
So speaking to my brother about a week ago, he was saying that for certain countries currently "locked-down" and difficult to leave, Germany is offering repatriation flights back through lufthansa... but you have to be on a list. So we've all been waiting to hear how that goes.
Yesterday he told me he hasn't heard back from anyone, and now he's thinking he might just stay. His wife no longer has a job to go to, and he doesn't know if it's even possible to leave anymore, so maybe he should just embrace it. It's really weird not knowing when things will be back to normal and when he'll be able to come back.
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