How much of a BLOKE are you?

[Charlie O.]

Nov 18, 2021 15:03:46 GMT sloopjohnc said:

Would I be considered a bloke if I wanted to punch this comedian in the mouth so he couldn't do his shitty act for a few months?

Struck a nerve, did he?

[tory]

I'm sure Skope minces superbly, particularly in his speedos.

[fonz]

I’m about a six or seven.
I like plenty of manly things enough, but I’m no good at any of them -football, diy, etc though I have dipped my toe in team sports. But I do work-out.
Minimal interest in cars
I like drinking, but in small groups or on my own.
I detest ‘gang vocals’ and will not sing along to songs in a mass, like football chants.
Never had a homosexual experience, and never wanted one. But I don’t have a problem with others’ sexuality.

[rayge]

Not at all

[fonz]

Nov 19, 2021 9:14:42 GMT rayge said:

Not at all

And yet, Ray, to me you are ‘one of the blokes on Preludin’.

[Reactionary Rage]

Nov 18, 2021 15:27:01 GMT @madcyril1 said:

I'm too arty to be blokey. But I'm very blokey compared to most arty types!

The thing is, there are certain types of "arty" men who are so mimsy they sort of repulse me. It's a visceral thing and I feel it more and more these days but, yeah, I'm a mixture.  Part Ray Winstone, part Bryan Ferry lol

I've always had blokey tendencies which I'm comfortable with now but when I was younger I probably overthought that kind of stuff and rebelled against it at times.  Growing up I was really into sports and very competitive (still am) and I've always enjoyed a drink down the pub (and other hedonistic pleasures); admiring ladies, getting into silly scrapes and daft situations.  The usual bloke shit but at the same time around certain groups of men I can feel very isolated and disconnected and my interests are nerdy and not typically blokey at all.  But then blokey is a subset of masculinity, a little bit cartoonish and narrow.   It doesn't feel like something to aspire too whereas being a man actually does but I guess that's an ideal, something we measure ourselves by.

[loveless]

[tory]

I'm not a bloke.

Of my friendship circle, I'm probably more "blokeish" than most of them, but I instinctively find "geezer" situations uncomfortable. I remember going to a wedding in Spain and having to endure a couple of days beforehand spending time with a group of men, none of which I knew in any real manner, who were the type who would all wear sunglasses and walk down the street trying to re-enact that scene in Reservoir Dogs. They all played sport to a relatively competitive level, either Rugby or whatever, and had that sort of banter that you get in closed circles. I didn't fit in at all and they knew it too - there was an almost animalistic aspect to the way there were barriers.

[Reactionary Rage]

A while back I attended a mates stag do DOWN SAAARTH and some of his mates and work colleagues were very blokey blokes. The usual round the table "banter", lots of drinking and talk about golf (which I like btw but hard to tune into and enjoy. At various points some of them would get up and sing Oasis songs in unison and part of me would die inside. There was coke going round too, good quality stuff, that seemed to exacerbate my sense of disconnection from the whole thing which I probably should avoided but, you know, if you're gonna put this shit in front of me....

At one point I got chatting to one of the fellas who was there, an Oxford graduate who works as an opera director in London and we ended up talking quite seriously about music, politics etc whilst the Oasis songs were being sung and it felt like bit of a relief, something more meaningful to discuss and connect over. We ended up going to the races, which I have no interest in at all, and, as bad as it sounds, me and a mate stayed downstairs for the whole time (didn't even watch one race or bet) and basically chatted shite to each other whilst supping pints and doing coke in the toilet lol whilst everyone else was upstairs cheering on the horses. At one point later that evening I was standing around with one of the fellas and it was just me and him and there was this awkward silence so I asked him a footy question hoping we could strike something up to take the emptiness away and he basically rebuffed me completely as if I was a fucking idiot. At that moment I didn't feel very blokey I can tell you. In fact I felt like shouting out, "DOES ANYONE HERE WATCH RUPAUL?"

[Reactionary Rage]

Nov 19, 2021 11:21:12 GMT tory said:

I'm not a bloke.

Of my friendship circle, I'm probably more "blokeish" than most of them, but I instinctively find "geezer" situations uncomfortable. I remember going to a wedding in Spain and having to endure a couple of days beforehand spending time with a group of men, none of which I knew in any real manner, who were the type who would all wear sunglasses and walk down the street trying to re-enact that scene in Reservoir Dogs. They all played sport to a relatively competitive level, either Rugby or whatever, and had that sort of banter that you get in closed circles. I didn't fit in at all and they knew it too - there was an almost animalistic aspect to the way there were barriers.

Rugby blokes...the worst blokes of all.  

You can still be a "bloke" and have interests and be able to converse and share those passions in an interesting way.

But, yeah, that kind of tribal, pack mentality does exist but then that's not just a bloke thing.  But if you are in that situation and can't escape then it's pretty suffocating and awkward.

[loveless]

There's a lot of sort of performative, cliche'd, ritualistic demonstrations of "FOOKIN' LAD!" that...I dunno, in some cases, you wonder what's driving the performance, and is there something almost mandatory about it.

You (tory) mention "the type who would all wear sunglasses and walk down the street trying to re-enact that scene in Reservoir Dogs" and I get serious douche chills - it's like seeing people on social media who have dialogue from the Big Lebowski as their sort of identifying tchotchke. None of us really knows how we appear/present to other people, and...you couldn't ask someone like that in a million years "Don't you reckon that's a bit...chintzy...and/or...'stock'?"

Things like road rage interest me in the context of this thread. Obvious red flag or show of great character?

[Half Machine Lipschitz]

Me an' the lads havin' a laff

[fonz]

I was at a urinal earlier, having a piss ( obvs) and a bloke walked up, started having a slash, and then , without clearing his throat or having a cough or whatever, gobbed in the trough.
Only blokes do this. Gob in a urinal, as some sort of habit, rather than as a necessary process

[rayge]

Nov 19, 2021 9:27:38 GMT fonz said:

Nov 19, 2021 9:14:42 GMT rayge said:

Not at all

And yet, Ray, to me you are ‘one of the blokes on Preludin’.

sure, but there's 'blokes' and 'BLOKES'

[DarknessFish]

I was going to quote both Dougie and Tory, as I think we've probably all had experiences like that, but then we risk creating our own internal non-bloke banter circle of cliche shitdom. Someone who was one of my closest friends moved down to Reading years ago, but kept in touch, and I remember going to Dublin with his mates for a 30th birthday bash or something. All of them were complete blokey cunts, I never thought a weekend of drinking could be so depressing. All the conversations were forced "Woah, I wouldn't mind hanging out the back of THAT!" and "I'd hit it sooo hard she's get a gallon out of me" foul shite. One of them dressed up in a leprechaun outfit for the night. In Dublin! Banter which registered on the richter scale, right there. On the second night, me and the only other lad I knew just fucked off inbetween pubs, said we had to get some cash out, and basically cashed out. Went somewhere quieter for a few normal beers without twattism.