Post by Sneelock on Jun 6, 2022 18:03:02 GMT
Larry the Lion startles Fred the Fox with his Goons. featuring Mark the Mouse as the Bellhop
Larry: Okay, where’s my money!
Fred: (wiping down the bar) It’s Tuesday.
Larry: I KNOW it’s Tuesday.
Fred: you’re two days early. you collect on Thursday. Today is Tuesday.
Larry: I KNOW today is Tuesday. What are you a goddam coo-coo clock?
Fred: Calm down.
Larry: Calm down? (Larry gestures to “his boys”)
Fred: This really isn’t necessary.
Larry: Moose, our friend here thinks I need to calm down.
Moose: yeah? you DO get wound up, Boss.
Larry: (to Moose) get the fuck away from me.
Moose slinks away.
Fred: I’ll pay you on Thursday. like always.
Larry: yeah? you’re telling ME how it’s going to be?
Fred: calm down.
Larry: CALM DOWN? (he gestures to his goons again but points accusingly at Moose who stays)
Fred: this really isn’t necessary.
Larry gives Fred a withering look while his goons stand cracking their knuckles.
Larry: where. is. my. MONEY?
Fred: I don’t have it. you collect on Thursday. Today is...
Larry and his goons all rise to their full height.
Fred: I’ll pay you on Collection Day which is Thursday.
Larry: Look, I’m going to explain this to you because I like you. I’m BUSY on Thursday and I have Big goons who I pay a decent salary to beat people up.
Fred (to one of the goons) He pays you decent?
The goon starts to speak but thinks better of it.
Larry: do you ENJOY being beaten up? don’t you have things you’d rather be doing?
Fred: of COURSE I have things I’d rather be doing but I don’t have your money.
Larry: why the fuck not?
Fred: because it’s not collection day. If you’re going to beat me up because I don’t have the money before I owe it to you, I don’t really see what I can do about that. I have a customer.
Fred goes down the bar, takes a pencil from behind his ear and writes out an order from an elderly man.
Mark, a bellhop walks in reading a note from a tray.
Mark: BANG!
Larry is terrified. He thinks a gun has gone off.
Mark: YONG. Telegram for Bang Yong!
Larry grabs the bellhop by the front of his jacket.
Larry: What the hell is wrong with you? you can’t sneak up on people and go “BANG”
Larry pushes the bellhop away. Fred and the goons are watching.
Goon: Boss, you want I should...
Larry waves him away. he’s still scared.
Fred: Holy crap, you’re really scared.
Fred chuckles which drives Larry crazy.
Fred leans in and says...
Fred: BANG!
Larry: knock it off! knock it the fuck off. I swear, I’ll tear your arms off. I mean HE will.
The elderly man engages with the bellhop who is terrified that Larry is going to have him hurt.
Fred pulls a stack of money out of his apron, licks a finger and counts out a stack of cash.
Fred: the guy from the dairy ain’t come around yet today, I’ll pay him later. Here’s all but about 50 of your dough.
Larry is still rattled.
Fred: you gonna count it?
the bellhop takes a tip from the elderly man.
Fred: Larry?
Larry: what the HELL kind of name is Bang Yong?