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Post by Cousin Lou on Mar 24, 2020 20:23:19 GMT
Just was fantasising, maybe Covid-19 isn’t a virus but merely antibodies created by earth to kill off the worst virus it has seen in 4 billion years.
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Post by tory on Mar 24, 2020 21:46:15 GMT
"Of course #GretaThunberg has #COVID19 - the lack of press coverage is a known symptom."
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Mar 24, 2020 22:00:03 GMT
We should but at moments like this people won't accept...."we need to consult more people..." They want answers and action and the politicians oblige even if it may be unwise and shortsighted. We just make up shit as we go along. Whereas we would do so much better if we just followed the advice of right wing conservative journalists. Hitchens is something of a contrarian. I sorta like him, a bit, just cos he doesn't appear to give much of a fuck and he looks a bit funny. I won't be going to him for Covid19 advice though.
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Post by tory on Mar 24, 2020 22:05:11 GMT
He really doesn't give a flying fuck whatever anyone thinks, which in this day and age is exceedingly rare. He has an enormous ego, but I'll forgive him that as he has a very sharp mind and an intelligence, particularly with poetry and literature, that is just almost extinct nowadays. The product of a proper grammar school education.
As much as I don't want to agree with him on Drugs, deep down I believe he's right on prohibition. People seem to forget that also that he despises the Conservative party.
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Mar 24, 2020 22:09:37 GMT
Oh yeah, he hates the Tories.
he does come out with some interesting stuff but then he comes out with some right bollocks too.
His recent Titter spat with Andrew Doyle showed that he's a bit of twat mind
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Post by tory on Mar 24, 2020 22:13:35 GMT
Oh yeah, but I just like the fact that he sort of revels in really being friends with virtually no-one online, having no allegiances (ie retweeting or liking) and taking down anyone, even people you think are alright. I like that sort of cuntery.
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Post by Playground LEVINE on Mar 24, 2020 22:49:13 GMT
Hooray for Peter Hitchens! much more of a cunt than Greta Thunberg
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Mar 24, 2020 22:56:39 GMT
That’s the spirit, John!
Let’s hear it for Pete!
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Post by Playground LEVINE on Mar 24, 2020 23:00:54 GMT
here's something for ya Coronavirus: a terrifying pandemic or a chance to clear some debts, while strengthening the old personal brand? It really depends on who you are, says John Calvert, in his new round up column, which will be updated regularly, right here
Day One: Despatches From Quarantine/ Postcards From The Edge (Of Barnet)
This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with some bollocks sneezing on your eyebrow in Finsbury. And you grabbed my hand and we fell into it. Like a daydream, or a fever.
As of this week I’m getting less fresh air or sunlight than the average Cumbrian Incel. I’m cardiomyopic, I’m asthmatic, and quite possibly I’m emphysemic - I smoke as much as a longshoreman in 1950s Sunderland. My liver looks like rural bathtub meth embedded in rye bread. All told, there were tail-gunners over Schweinfurt with a longer life expectancy than me. I’m prepared to go out like a gentleman but I swear, if I choke it and the chancers who’ve been using the Coronacrisis as a platform to peddle their artistic wares live I’m going to be very annoyed.
First thing I see is that Gary Barlow and JC Chavez have teamed up for an online gig. I should think this is the first of many such ‘bedroom concerts’ in the coming months, from artists of all stripes. Barlow’s a Tory turd, and had his Dad never introduced him to Elton John, he’d be an avuncular policeman in Preston right now, but I dig the concept. How about Sun O)))) from the interior of their all-white marble mausoleum at the gates of hell? Or Alan Vega from his tomb in Graceland, playing the dead flag blues? How about the Outbreak monkey performing from his cage in a secret military base under a Utah mountain range, just chatting random shit about bananas and fucking?
Meanwhile in North America, a lot of people I really did admire once trade verses of John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ on Instagram, in quite the most asinine example of fart-smelling Hollywood earnestness since Emma Stone won an Oscar for risible Gap advert La La Land and in her acceptance speech declared it “One for the dreamers.”
Back to London where Bono, the answer to the question nobody is asking right now, writes a song for Coronavirus. It’s generic, it’s blandly universal, it’s fundamentally meaningless. It’s U2. And much like their auto-installed iTunes album it only exists because, these days, evidently we have no choice but to eat shit. Which is because, in 2020, the world is ruled by the wholly un-self-aware, whose blind self-assurance and rank opportunism in the face of existential irrelevance has to become everyone else's problem. It’s like the Titanic’s going down and Bono’s on a nearby tugboat shouting “OOOOOOOH will yee look at me big feckin' Oirish heart?! I’m not an entertainer, I'm an international statesman!” until a member of staff shoots him in the glasses for creating panic. As legend has it, once during a lightning storm on a passenger jet, Bono leaned across the aisle to comfort a concerned nearby passenger. ”Don’t worry kid,” he said, “it’s just God taking pictures.” Yeah well I disagree. I think God saw his chance and he fucked it.
Speaking of rank opportunism and the public having to eat the shit of the newly irrelevant (quite literally, in this case), Jamie Oliver has been commissioned to present his own Coronovirus cooking show. It’s to be called Keep Cooking And Carry On (because of fucking course it is) and will feature Oliver wanking around his soon-to-be reclaimed £7million flat in Islington and generally talking like Goldie while teaching people how to cook in a crisis. The only crisis here is his impending insolvency. That and his crisis of identity, as every morning he wakes up a 52-year-old geezer forced to peddle that same FHM-brand of ersatz youthful Britishness, just so that in a month he isn't sleeping in the same room as nineteen Manc ex-cons in a disused Textiles factory in post-apocalyptic Yarm. But, hey, in the end just keep on telling yourself it’s about helping us - the little people, and that's important to remember; like not letting your kids eat breaded turkey. And just keep on telling yourself it's not about Oliver’s bottom line.
This just in: Marcus Mumford piano-dicks ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ for Corona. The hashtag ‘You’ll Never Wank Alone” is trending within the hour, because the Great British Public are fucking amazing.
I can almost see him now, the big melon, sat there in his depression-era braces and Fratboy joggers, phoning Ed or other men called Marcus or his mate Jordan Peterson to go on about his weeping heroism, perhaps as a dutiful Carrie bakes her famous jam tarts in preparation for a Tory lovemaking session involving sophisticated pulley systems and medieval-style pegging. Bare dungeon shit. Yeah that’s Marcus - the David Cameron of indie; the caring Conservative covering the LFC anthem with the utmost degree of doe-eyed, indie-sensitive altruism, despite it being almost guaranteed a member of his extended family in the Lords voted against the Hillsborough inquest.
I’ve eaten 13 party rings since noon and all day I stare at my collapsing face in family Skype calls, where conversation topics range from classist genocide to mortgage holidays to “Is mum ok for eggs?” I can’t focus. Or think straight. I try to chat to girls but I keep thinking about World War III. The multi-cellular virus that is Donald Trump, who in recent press conferences looks to be experiencing history's most protracted mini-stroke, still has the launch codes.
Yeah the ship’s going down and we’re still in the kitchen making noodles. I hear stories like my mate's drug delivery guy owns a Hazmat suit now, or that my girlfriend’s accountant bought a baseball bat on Amazon in case martial law is declared in Walthamstow. At tQ we’re forwarded actual real-life PR emails advertising ‘exciting opportunities’ in the sex industry for McDonalds workers on unpaid sick leave. As we speak, even Keith Richards, who of course cannot be killed by conventional weapons, is in Chelsea shitting it, dislodging his last mystical douchebag in preparation for the big one.
The band has stop playing but we’re still dancing. 'The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore'. Hard times ahead. But while the chief plays 'Sunshine On Leith', we’ll fight this together.thequietus.com/articles/28011-corona-bollocks-life-in-the-time-of-c-19
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Mar 25, 2020 8:35:59 GMT
Keith Richards shitting it?
AS IF
He'll be in his basement smoking some GANJA and hanging with some blues "cats" on the Skype.
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Post by Playground LEVINE on Mar 25, 2020 8:48:42 GMT
I just had to STAND OUTSIDE LIDL and wait for the doors to open with all the other wasters. A sad state of affairs.
But they had those lovely pain au chocolat again - now they're bagging them up - so it was worth it. Didn't have much else, like.
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Mar 25, 2020 9:17:48 GMT
I bet you had 5 day beard growth, unkempt hair and biscuit crumbs on your collar.
Everyday when I go into work I get a "fresh" croissant from the Tesco over the road (usually the almond one) and I sit down at my desk and drink my tea and munch into almondy, buttery goodness.
Now I'm making do with a cup of coffee and a cold shower.
What times are these my friends?
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Post by Playground LEVINE on Mar 25, 2020 9:28:55 GMT
'they're going toooooo destroooooyyy
our caaaaaaasuuuuuual joy'
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2020 11:10:14 GMT
Prince Charles has it... www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52033845That Peter Hitchens piece questions nothing btw, just gives a wall of text to assert he's absolutely right prior to wikiarguing.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2020 11:13:45 GMT
Prince Charles has it... www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52033845That Peter Hitchens piece questions nothing btw, just gives a wall of text to assert he's absolutely right prior to wikiarguing. But he's an iconoclast!
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