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Post by hippopotamus on Dec 2, 2020 11:40:52 GMT
I definitely believe people can change. Although maybe you're just encouraging your better angels and pacifying your worser demons. I think that's what is called growth.
Times in which I placed myself in the least comfortable situations are when I've made the most positive changes... But I also had a lot of support which I think has made all the difference.
I've never been more comfortable in myself or in life, but I guess that means I need a change.
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Post by tory on Dec 2, 2020 11:56:24 GMT
Aspects of one's self can change, but I also think that some core things are more resistant. It depends on a lot of things like location, your surroundings and whatnot.
For example, people are often changed by relationships with others. For example, I've moved away in the last decade from my circle of friends in London to be with my wife in the countryside. Some friends say "you've changed" - and maybe that's right, certainly political perspectives and the like have shifted in that time.
When I started teacher training last year I knew that I was starting at the bottom of the pile and needed to be receptive to advice and particularly criticism. Before that in my professional career I was always, if I'm honest, somewhat arrogant and thought I knew things immediately when it was clear I didn't. That's wisdom in some respects, but it was also a change - and much of it has been witnessing how my wife goes about her business up close as she works from home.
There are some key elements of my personality I know haven't changed a huge amount though. I'm still prone to laziness on odd occasions and will default at times to "leaving something to tomorrow" rather than addressing them immediately. My wife said that I "worked terribly hard" last year and yet I don't think I did, I felt I slacked off a bit, particularly during lockdown. That said, I was doing 16 hour days for 7 months or so, so perhaps I'm being hard on myself. So even though the evidence may have been contrary, my personality reacted against it. That tells me at least that our perception of ourselves perhaps doesn't change that much - that we have an inner core of what we are and perceive that may, over time, change imperceptibly but doesn't feel it.
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