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Post by Reactionary Rage on Jan 18, 2022 13:30:39 GMT
What the hell is it? Are you happy? What makes you happy?
Is Happy the best song on Exile?
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Post by tory on Jan 18, 2022 14:24:14 GMT
I'm much more content than I was. I don't think being happy, like it's some sort of emotional state that you can summon up is achievable and probably ends up in madness if you try to get there. Happiness comes to us in fits and sudden washes, rather than being consistent.
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Post by tory on Jan 18, 2022 14:49:16 GMT
I never think "oh I'm really happy" in the midst of doing something. I guess I'm very happy doing my job, but thinking about it comes with reflection. For instance, I plan my week on a Sunday and then always get in early to work on a Monday. I'm up at 545am and I never think "Oh god I could really do with not going to work today". That'll probably come at some point I guess.
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Post by DarknessFish on Jan 18, 2022 14:51:58 GMT
Probably not. I've probably mentioned before that my dad was probably the happiest person I've ever encountered, certainly content with his lot in a way that I've never been able to comprehend. I don't know if it's a result of never having known genuine hardship in a way that he did, or just some inbuilt inability to view the world in such a way. But y'know, life's short, and it seems a lot of it is filled with the tedious minutiae of everyday existence, moving from one mild hassle to another until you finally get some respite, and then find you can't fill that respite with any meaningful or entertaining purpose. Which makes the Netflix menu screen an exact metaphor for 21st century existence.
I guess I know that the pleasure of life should be found in that tedious minutiae, or with the love of my family, an appreciation of all the wonders that nature and mankind have bestowed upon our existence. But then I get angry at wordle using an American spelling.
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Jan 18, 2022 15:07:39 GMT
Hardship does make people appreciate what they have. Affluence and comfort does weird things to people and you can see that today. We need to invent problems to give our lives meaning these days. Give ourselves a hero's journey.
Gratitude is very important in life. If you can make that your default position then I think it really helps.
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Post by tory on Jan 18, 2022 15:28:51 GMT
The "happiest" people in the world by country do seem to be the Latin/South Americans. Mexico and Colombia seem to come out on top of most indices, perhaps influenced by climate and Catholicism I suspect.
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Jan 18, 2022 15:36:23 GMT
Family, community, weather...hot women.
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Post by DarknessFish on Jan 18, 2022 15:44:37 GMT
The "happiest" people in the world by country do seem to be the Latin/South Americans. Mexico and Colombia seem to come out on top of most indices, perhaps influenced by climate and Catholicism I suspect. At work there's an anonymous yearly people survey which all employees are asked to complete. All the usual guff about do you feel valued, are you empowered, what do you think of your work environment, etc. The results show the UK generally appears suicidal, while Brazil is Brilliant! from The Fast Show.
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Post by tory on Jan 18, 2022 15:52:54 GMT
It also suggests that material wealth doesn't have the impact on happiness that we might expect as Latin America is riddled with poverty. A sense of community I would argue is probably the most important thing, whether it be family or where you live, or even both. Catholics feel that they are part of one huge family, and whilst it is easy for us rationalists to dismiss it all as errant nonsense, there's obviously something very powerful in that.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 18, 2022 16:31:48 GMT
The "happiest" people in the world by country do seem to be the Latin/South Americans. Mexico and Colombia seem to come out on top of most indices, perhaps influenced by climate and Catholicism cocaine I suspect.
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Post by sloopjohnc on Jan 18, 2022 17:27:04 GMT
I find that the things that might have made me happy in the past or I think will make me happy really don't.
I find it's the every day small stuff that makes me happiest.
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Post by Half Machine Lipschitz on Jan 18, 2022 17:54:17 GMT
I tend to ride a slow cycle between happiness and mild depression. I've never thought to figure out if it's a regular thing, or completely random, or whether there's anything that triggers it, but I do find that the happiness part of the cycle lasts much longer than the down bits. Right now, for instance, I feel quite happy - life seems good and things are more-or-less going my way, but I haven't had a drink since the beginning of the month and have also had a bunch of extra time off work due to Omicron so that probably has something to do with it. I'm looking forward to having a drink come February and maybe I'll try to monitor my mood to see if anything changes once that happens.
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Post by souphound on Jan 18, 2022 19:35:07 GMT
When people around me are happy, that makes me happy. So I try to make them happy so that I, in return, am happy. Make sense?
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Post by Reactionary Rage on Jan 19, 2022 10:38:55 GMT
I agree with Toby, you experience happiness in moments rather than sustained periods. The kind of joy or euphoria that one might associate with the word is temporary but you can create satisfaction and contentment that I equate with a more general idea of "happiness" in life and maintain that with effort. It's dependent on several factors though: health, job, relationships, surroundings and if one of these is not working it can throw the whole thing seriously out of whack. I mean a bad job or crummy surroundings can really impact on you.
As I get older I do find myself not just appreciating what I have more but I consciously try and appreciate not just the small things but the quality of life I have and the things I have been able to do. Even just compared to my parents the difference is stark. Having perspective is difficult as it's easy to fall into mild self-pity but it's pretty essential.
Finding meaning in life is important too and unless your job provides that - and let's face it, it doesn't for many - that's a big factor so you need to find that meaning elsewhere. It's interesting that people in South America claim to be happier (although I am a little dubious about these surveys) because I do think community and that human connection is very important too. We don't have that anymore over here so we have to find it elsewhere which is partly why I am writing this right now I guess....we seek communities online in lieu of them existing in the real world and it's important to feel part of something bigger than yourself. Maybe religion provides something to those in South America as well...meaning, perspective, a sense of gratitude perhaps, a feeling of life being a "gift". Which it is of course even if so often it feels more like a fucking chore. Something to wade through in search of brief moments of respite and joy.
Happiness takes fucking effort but then the struggle creates meaning. You need that too.
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Post by cousinlou on Jan 21, 2022 9:59:47 GMT
Happiness is too broad a term to describe an overall state of life. It exists by actual, or even perceived contrasts. They don't usually last long but neither does the opposite. (I am talking about fairly regular lives that don't involve major traumatic experiences)
Most of us linger in the middle ground most of the time and I guess feeling 'happy' is when overall, you're content with your life as it enrolls during the moments inbetween the ups and downs.
It may pay off to try and experience as many things as you can. Real experiences, not a holiday to Ibiza. Trying to get to know/understand yourself and have stories to tell. When I was much younger that was my general idea: living by experiences.
It has sometimes been a reckless path. But, just when I thought recklessness was over, I had to spend a night in jail last year (I wrote about that before).
As I sat there in my cell, cursing myself for a few hours, this thought popped up: Nobody's ever to going to take away this experience from me. That gave me a lot of comfort.
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