fange
god
Listening to long jazz tracks
Posts: 4,555
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love
Sept 2, 2023 13:18:23 GMT
Post by fange on Sept 2, 2023 13:18:23 GMT
Huge matzo ball...
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love
Sept 2, 2023 15:48:46 GMT
Post by souphound on Sept 2, 2023 15:48:46 GMT
I've always been a little curious about the (mostly British?) use of "love" as a seemingly generic name for a person one is addressing. Maybe it's just old school? Or not?
Like when a waitress asks a client "More coffee, love?". But then a mother can use the same for their child - "Ready for school, love?")
Or should that be "luv"?
Very confused.
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love
Sept 2, 2023 16:12:10 GMT
via mobile
Post by oh oooh on Sept 2, 2023 16:12:10 GMT
It's a northern English thing and I've come across it in parts of Yorkshire and Lancashire. You probably hear it a little south of there too, but definitely not further north - never in Cumbria, Northumbria or Tyneside.
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loveless
god
Bringing ballet to the masses. Sticking to the funk.
Posts: 2,804
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love
Sept 2, 2023 16:41:15 GMT
davey likes this
Post by loveless on Sept 2, 2023 16:41:15 GMT
Yeah - I think there's a depth of feeling there that counts for a hell of a lot. You wouldn't want to abuse it in lesser circumstances.
I've always told my kids. I mean, I can't imagine NOT having that strength of feeling towards them, or not feeling compelled to regularly express it to them. And, yeah - there is a sense that our last conversation will assuredly happen without us knowing it, so...yeah, don't skimp on the warmth. Similarly, if there's some conflict or bad feeling, I've really learned not to nurse a grudge for a second longer than necessary (again, this is with my wife and kids), cause...any outburst of anger or frustration is typically the equivalent of an overreaction, a misunderstanding, or a meltdown - you certainly don't want to get stuck there.
But my brother - we've hardly ever said it as adults. I can tell it's just not something he feels comfortable saying, and...I'm not trying to make people feel awkward.
My best friend and I said it. I'm thankful for that.
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Post by davey on Sept 5, 2023 7:28:03 GMT
I don’t know if I believe in it being devalued. At least, not in a one-on-one context. Maybe on a hallmark card or something. But I think it’s just about always valuable when people say it to each other.
I err on the side of too much. I say it to everyone I love. I don’t worry about how much value it has. I say it because I want it said. Most of the people in my life say it back. You can tell when it’s not something they usually say. There’s often a sense of liberation to it with those people - as if they really appreciate having a relationship where it is offered and accepted easily.
I have only one friend who ever made me feel slightly uncomfortable saying it. He’s an older collaborator of mine. Almost immediately after we became friends, he would toss a “love you” into almost every communication. But then I watched how he was with everyone. He did the same thing - seemingly in the spirit of his hardcore “peace and love” eternal hippy stance. Later, as I came to know him better, his commitment to expressing love to all humans became a really endearing quality. There aren’t many folks who still live by that creed. So I’ve matched him “I love you” for “I love you” over the 7 or 8 years we’ve worked together. Now there’s nothing uncomfortable about it - and it certainly isn’t devalued. I feel like some of his philosophy has rubbed off on me.
Anyhow - I’ve lost several very close friends recently. One of the things that allows some measure of peace was that nothing was left unsaid with any of them.
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