|
love
Sept 1, 2023 7:43:08 GMT
via mobile
Post by oh oooh on Sept 1, 2023 7:43:08 GMT
Ever noticed how much less, erm, impactful 'love you!' is, compared to 'I love you'? Dropping the personal pronoun reduces the phrase to something akin to 'take care', more or less - a pleasantry that can be thrown about between friends like confetti. 'I love you' sounds MUCH heavier. I'm not moaning - I just think it's interesting.
Anyway. Why I'm here....the idea that 'love will save us all', those kinds of sentiments - yes they're banal, they're on T-shirts, posters, advertisements for banks ffs - do they help in any way? Do people have enough of this stuff to go around? and do they feel something when they express it?
Should we save it for things we're devoted to? I mean, I'm pretty sure I hear the word - used in lots of different contexts ('love the hat!', 'we really loved the party', 'soooo much love in the room') more than I did growing up. Have you also found that? And if so, any idea why?
|
|
|
Post by adamcoan on Sept 1, 2023 8:14:02 GMT
U ok Hun ?
|
|
|
love
Sept 1, 2023 8:19:19 GMT
via mobile
riggers likes this
Post by Reactionary Rage on Sept 1, 2023 8:19:19 GMT
Californians
|
|
|
love
Sept 1, 2023 9:33:20 GMT
via mobile
Post by tory on Sept 1, 2023 9:33:20 GMT
I get the sentiment, but love is arguably the most important thing to all of us.
|
|
Sneelock
god
you're gonna break another heart
Posts: 8,549
|
love
Sept 1, 2023 15:30:30 GMT
Post by Sneelock on Sept 1, 2023 15:30:30 GMT
it's a fair point but I think it's like Eskimos having all those words for "snow". I don't see much snow. I love "stuck in the middle with you" and I love my wife. they are both love but they are different.
capish?
|
|
|
love
Sept 1, 2023 17:39:32 GMT
Post by Charlie O. on Sept 1, 2023 17:39:32 GMT
it's a fair point but I think it's like Eskimos having all those words for "snow". Or maybe the opposite. We need forty words for love.
|
|
fange
god
Listening to long jazz tracks
Posts: 4,555
|
Post by fange on Sept 2, 2023 7:35:00 GMT
Yeah agreed; adding the I does make it heavier, the sort of thing that you would use in certain situations to get a point across. When i hug my kids i generally say "Love you", when i hug a friend i'll say "Love you, mate". The "I" is for special moments, both good and bad.
|
|
|
love
Sept 2, 2023 7:43:32 GMT
via mobile
Post by oh oooh on Sept 2, 2023 7:43:32 GMT
I think saying 'love you, mate' at certain times (saying goodbye, for instance) can really help people to feel needed, wanted, to give them a boost. It's important, in fact, if it's felt genuinely. Over the long term, I guess if you DON'T get that, you might end up wondering what you're about - if you get me.
But I do think the word has become devalued. Hardly an original thought, I know.
As a side point - I remember when McDs started with their inane 'I'm lovin' it' thing 20 years ago or whenever it was. English language teachers like myself who'd spent years telling students that 'love' was a stative verb that wasn't used in the continuous form had some explaining to do (although I suppose most of us just dismissed it as stupid advertising bollocks)
|
|
fange
god
Listening to long jazz tracks
Posts: 4,555
|
Post by fange on Sept 2, 2023 8:00:50 GMT
Yeah, when a phrase starts getting used more, it can become a bit empty or meaningless, sure. People may feel obliged to say it in some ways or for various reasons, and it becomes just a platitude that's expected in a social situation. I use it myself only occasionally with people outside my family, maybe cause i do feel its currency is quite important. But then, the phrase "I love you" has always been subject to this kind of scrutinity anyway, right? Even in the past there has been discussion about has ot been devalued by being used too often, too 'frivolously', as just an empty getsure, etc.
Anyway, it always makes me think of George Costanza now:D
|
|
|
Post by Reactionary Rage on Sept 2, 2023 8:32:44 GMT
It is devalued and it contributes to a lack of meaning. Sometimes it jars with me when people use it or other words to praise something or someone because it just feels false. Even though I have used it my self.
Occasionally a friend has used it towards me when I haven’t quite felt the same level of emotional connection towards them and I’ve felt I had to reply in kind because you have to. It did make me feel a little bit resentful.
But…if you say it to someone and you actually mean it then it possesses a special weight and significance that no amount of bullshit and misuse can take away. I reserve it for special people.
|
|
|
Post by riggers on Sept 2, 2023 8:41:21 GMT
George Harrison once said that all you need is work and love. That makes sense. A feeling of purpose and a sense of being needed/wanted and part of a reciprocal loop, which gives us strength, connection, roots. Whether it's romantic or otherwise.
I say it to one of my (married) female friends when we say goodbye, because she says it to me. I never used to say it back, but I do now. It's nice to feel that way. I don't say it to any male friends as of yet..
My old man now says it at the end of every phone call, because, as he morbidly insists on telling me, it could be the last time we speak. And I say it back. I guess it's the right thing to do. If he does pop his clogs suddenly, I'll know that was the last thing we said to each other.
|
|
|
love
Sept 2, 2023 11:07:41 GMT
Post by tory on Sept 2, 2023 11:07:41 GMT
Shortly before she died, my mum said "I do love you", which hurt because I could not remember a time when she had said it previously.
|
|
|
love
Sept 2, 2023 11:11:49 GMT
via mobile
Post by oh oooh on Sept 2, 2023 11:11:49 GMT
Ah shit, Toby. Sorry. That can't have been easy.
|
|
|
love
Sept 2, 2023 11:16:27 GMT
Post by tory on Sept 2, 2023 11:16:27 GMT
Yeah, I don't really mourn my mother's passing to be honest.
|
|
|
love
Sept 2, 2023 11:19:38 GMT
via mobile
Post by oh oooh on Sept 2, 2023 11:19:38 GMT
I used to say 'love you!' to my mam all the time, and she to me. I don't remember saying it once to my dad. Actually maybe I did, once or twice.
But 'I love you' - I'll go back to the same point I made earlier - was rarely said. That one stops the traffic.
|
|