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Post by oh oooh on Dec 7, 2023 15:06:28 GMT
I like people to be nice. I think it's important. It's an underrated virtue. I try to be nice too. It helps in so many ways. But of course sometimes people mistake it for weakness.
I used to like people with an 'edge' - often JUST because they had an 'edge'. Now if people are like that then they'd better have something more substantial to back it up if they want to earn my charity.
Do you like nice people? How'd you define it? Do you try to be nice?
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Post by adamcoan on Dec 7, 2023 15:31:00 GMT
Fuck of you weak needy nonce. Go hug a fucking tree.
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Post by tory on Dec 7, 2023 15:37:38 GMT
Some "nice" people are awful.
I think it's important to be "yourself" rather than a fake "niceness" in all honesty. That doesn't mean that civic politeness can't go a long way either.
You could rename the "Tory scum" thread if you were being "nice" btw.
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Post by oh oooh on Dec 7, 2023 15:39:45 GMT
Lot of projection going on here. You fucking pair of cunts
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Post by Half Machine Lipschitz on Dec 7, 2023 15:58:57 GMT
I realised far too late in my life that being pleasant to others is much easier than being a jerk, and the payoff is more rewarding as people tend to treat you similarly. It can be difficult during times of stress to be completely 'nice' and not a bit snippy or bitchy, but I try to apologize with an explanation after the fact now instead of letting resentment fester. Apparently I can be quite intimidating if I'm in a foul mood, mainly due to body language and my facial expression so I try to not let myself get to that sort of state of mind if I can help it these days.
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Post by adamcoan on Dec 7, 2023 16:10:57 GMT
Lot of projection going on here. You fucking pair of cunts I like people to be nice. I think it's important. It's an underrated virtue. I try to be nice too. It helps in so many ways. Mmmmm.
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toomanyhatz
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Post by toomanyhatz on Dec 7, 2023 16:53:35 GMT
"Surface" nice or rude are certainly important, but obviously pretty meaningless if it stays on the surface.
More important rules than 'be nice' to me are:
'Never lose your sense of humor/absurdity.'
'Make people feel like they're being heard. Even if you're disagreeing with them or telling them they're wrong, react to what they're actually saying rather than your preconceived notion of what they mean.'
'Know when to stop talking.'
Those are my rules of social interaction, anyway. Not sure I'm that good at any of these things, mind you.
Just being nice, though - that I can do pretty well most of the time.
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Sneelock
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Post by Sneelock on Dec 7, 2023 20:47:29 GMT
not really. the older I get the more I try to go through my days with a song in my heart and a spring in my step. people THINK I'm nice. little do they know what a horrible bastard I am!
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rayge
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Post by rayge on Dec 7, 2023 21:18:35 GMT
I've cultivated it largely because many people find me intimidating or aggressive when I'm just lost in myself and not paying attention to ambient humans
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Sneelock
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you're gonna break another heart
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Post by Sneelock on Dec 7, 2023 21:39:45 GMT
humans are your best entertainment value!
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Post by souphound on Dec 7, 2023 22:37:12 GMT
Niceness, like rudeness, tends to be contagious.
I like a "nice" environment, therefore I do what I can to make it so. Usually.
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loveless
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Post by loveless on Dec 14, 2023 15:52:40 GMT
I will say...to the extent that I absolutely tend to remember kindness (and maybe even moreso UNKINDNESS), I've marked it as crucially relevant. If someone sort of makes "elective rudeness" their "brand"...yeah, it most certainly makes a lasting impression.
As to how well I - personally - conduct myself by these metrics, I dunno...I'd mostly hope that a benefit of "an advancing maturity of age" (or, more accurately, "an increasingly impressive vintage") is that some not-inconsiderable amount of my own "patented bullshit" has beveled a number of its own edges off. It wouldn't be for me to say (matter of fact, I'm generally suspicious of people who explicitly or implicitly self-narrate exceptional ethical/moral/behavioral "rightness" - no one will ever have to tell you that they are decent). But...I do notice (specifically with online discourse) that "pick your battles" is some real shit (pedantry, etc.) - if I most certainly provided untold decades of "indiscriminate bull in a china shop" uncoolness, I'm pretty keen to redress the balance. That might be a lifetime of karmic tidying up.
Again, you notice a general sort of "was/is a headache to deal with" vs. "absolutely not a pain in the ass" essence, and...choices are made.
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loveless
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Post by loveless on Dec 14, 2023 18:02:26 GMT
I used to like people with an 'edge' - often JUST because they had an 'edge'. Now if people are like that then they'd better have something more substantial to back it up if they want to earn my charity. This is a whole different issue, isn't it? Or..rather...one worth parsing out. I think 'sharpness' (keenly insightful, witty with it, maybe even grotesquely/morbidly humorous, skilled at playfulness, perceptive, bizarrely or uniquely keen eyed or interpretive)...absofuckinglutely. I think it's BEYOND "something". You don't want to be bland, and I don't think you want to consort with blandness. But...right. General blowhardedness? Attention seeking front? Always shitting in the punchbowl? Rude to waitstaff or others without perceptible power/advantage? Dare I say, more tiresome than - and every bit as useless as - blandness at this point. There's people who have been very close to me spanning many eras of life that I've gone more lukewarm on in recent years relative to how high they still seem to get on their own edgy fumes. Some of this, for me, again - really feels like an age thing.
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