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Post by davey on Jan 11, 2024 18:49:19 GMT
Every single one of us has gotten some juice at some point out of playing at this, right? At some juncture in our earlier lives, we decided to be “that guy.” The one who “knows his shit.” Am I wrong?
I guess my real questions for this thread are: Where did that path lead you? Is it still currency to be “that guy” in 2024? Do you feel like you wasted some part of your life chasing that thing? Are we all just walking cliches (like the comic book guy in The Simpsons)? Are you still clinging to this particular identity? If so, why? What rewards still exist?
Seriously folks… what the fuck are we all doing with our lives?
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loveless
god
Bringing ballet to the masses. Sticking to the funk.
Posts: 2,814
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Post by loveless on Jan 11, 2024 18:54:39 GMT
I'll come back to this, but...for now, I will just say that - no matter how much any of us may wish it to be otherwise - that type of expertise ALWAYS ends up being quite specialized. As in, these are the things I've managed to learn about or have some knowledge of, but...by definition, they are limited in scope and breadth, and the metaphorical "ask me about" bumper sticker is bound to have its gaping blind spots and omissions.
This is no bad thing, it just...is.
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Sneelock
god
Better than Washington...
Posts: 8,591
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Post by Sneelock on Jan 11, 2024 19:05:49 GMT
actually, I'm glad I lost that need to evangelize my interests to others. I wish I'd done this YEARS ago. I don't know if it goes away with age or just because the Not Really Give a Shit Gene grows stronger. maybe both. sometimes I'm concerned that I'm so interested in talking about stuff from 50 fucking years ago. other times it makes perfect sense. some people think Live at Leeds rules the world and others think it's garbage. we've been there & done that. we know what we like. we are comparing notes. it's interesting to me. I like newer stuff but I take it in the same stride. I'll say why I like it and you say why you don't. I'm not fighting any wars anymore. I'm COOL with that but Oh BOY, it was fun while it lasted.
I remember playing ENO's "taking tiger mountain" for my best friend. I loved it SO much. I was SO excited to share it with him. in the middle of "the true wheel" he said "do you really like this?" and looked at me like I was covered in pig shit.
those were the days!
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Post by fearlessfreap on Jan 11, 2024 19:56:33 GMT
I was Mr Know It All in high school. I'm sure I've mentioned the time I walked into the bathroom and two burnouts were arguing the merits of Quadrophenia and The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway and they asked me to settle it. I can't even remember my answer, today it would be who cares. I was asked to settle a Keith Moon vs Neal Peart argument and answered "Tony Williams," and was lucky to escape with my life. As I got older, people would ask me for recommendations, I'd give them and 9 times out of 10 they wouldn't like what I suggested, so I stopped. Since I hit 30, I hid my interest. I'm on the autism spectrum I discovered when my son was young. He was diagnosed, I related this to my mother and she said I was exactly the same at his age. I got tested and I was "textbook." It's so obvious to me now, but I never gave it a thought until then. I obsessed with baseball as a young kid and music a few years later. As an adult, I realized not only wasn't this normal, it could be seen as a detriment socially. My family (wife and kids) are the only people who have seen my music collection in over 30 years. My wife (who isn't even remotely a music fan) didn't see it until we started living together. When I was younger and lived in New York I had a lot of like minded friends, but when I moved out, went to school and became a "responsible adult," I knew if anyone saw it they'd think there was something wrong with me. Nobody cares about this kind of stuff in the real world, so I figured I'd save myself the grief.
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Post by davey on Jan 11, 2024 20:30:54 GMT
That’s fascinating. I can relate to the ‘hiding it’ part. I find the whole thing embarrassing most of the time.
The only time I ever care to flex my bona fides is when I’m with other music obsessives. Everywhere else, it’s like they caught you wanking.
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Post by DarknessFish on Jan 11, 2024 21:38:34 GMT
I don't think it's really been a strong part of my identity for a long, long time. I mean, my friends know my hobby is listening to weird shit, but it isn't something that's really commented on much, or something I play up on. Back when I was a student, perhaps it was part of my kinda style, and I looked for kindred spirits for a while.
But I was never really comfortable with the idea of outward appearance having anything to do with what I listened to, either. In a way, it was a stronger social thing for those who were less obsessive with this music stuff. You know, metal heads and their denim thing, goths with their make-up and black, mods, whatever, the entire concept seemed to be identifying as one clique or another, and excluding others. Everyone seemed happy to settle on a thing, but I couldn't go along with that, I think I was always curious as to what the other group were listening to and why.
In the end though, music's a deeply personal thing for me. It's a private thing, it means too much to be an outwardly signalled thing. It's mine, it's my escape, my emotional support. It ain't there to hang out for the world to take away.
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loveless
god
Bringing ballet to the masses. Sticking to the funk.
Posts: 2,814
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Post by loveless on Jan 11, 2024 21:50:56 GMT
I want to dig into this (and most things) with an anecdote. Hopefully long on superfluous detail.
In my adolescence/young adulthood, there were a few different generations of "local band guys". I was out with one of the sort of "first wave" dudes (in his case - working class, had definitely come up through a lot of hardscrabble DIY touring, etc. - had had his hit record 3 or 4 years ago at this point, few years older than me) one night when we met up with some of the new breed (just signed, largely suburban, affluent, absolutely part of a boom/wave of "we better sign this shit" regional goldrush...closer to my age than his) at a bar...I knew all parties involved, was friendly with everyone more or less...but...the generational issue (if only a 3 or 4 year reality) was as real as anything. I think it colored some of what happened in the moment.
There was a conversation where (please kill me now) "solo records by Cars members" came up, and while all (but me) approached the topic with a certain enthusiasm, the older guy had somehow misattributed a title/artist/year (I mean, given the antipathy I presently bring to the topic, I'd say he got it way righter than I ever would or will...few things, to my mind, seem easier to mix up...and...seriously?), and was corrected a little too pedantically/enthusiastically for his or my liking (after decades knowing all parties, I can say this is painfully on brand for the new kids...at least one of whom had been a huge fan of older guy's band...but, in any case, it's a little unseemly, right?).
Afterwards, Mike (older guy, drummer, I might have been his tenant at the time) says to me, "You know, it's great that those guys know all the trivia, but...they give zero indication that they GET any of that shit."
So, yeah - I guess, for all that I may know, and may have learned, researched and so on about music (and, is it not all mostly trivia at the end of the day?)...something about that really resonated with me. And still does. There's kind of a "wrong way" to know what you know...like, the knowing is nice enough, but...if being a dick about it is your currency...maybe there's some fundamental point missing that is ultimately more defining.
Onwards...
Every single one of us has gotten some juice at some point out of playing at this, right? At some juncture in our earlier lives, we decided to be “that guy.” The one who “knows his shit.” Am I wrong?
I like the obsessions. I like reading the books. I've got a decent stereo, I like finding the best sounding versions of a thing. I like some of the stats (I'm also grappling with some real ADHD/autism issues that have gone undiagnosed for most of my life), a few of these recent list making exercises on Preludin have been fun, I like playing, listening...and, yeah, I like being able to answer certain questions. WHEN ASKED.
So "Yes, but..."?
You're not wrong. I must have been insufferable about both my tastes and whatever I knew at some earlier point in the game. I have a few cringe memories about myself not only going full sneering blowhard as a young man, but simultaneously being 100% WRONG. So...as everyone on the thread seems to be saying...I like/know what I like/know...but it means less and less, and it's more of a reserved/private thing. Obviously, on a music board, you're in the asylum with all the other weirdos, so...let it out, but...even then...the worst elements of it are decidedly tempered.
Where did that path lead you?
Playing and listening to a lot of music, mostly. Talking shit on Preludin. I've got friendships forged in this very currency.
Is it still currency to be “that guy” in 2024?
I think it's a bad fucking look. I know a guy (full disclosure, he sucks) who decided that "film" was his thing, and...really? The guy thinks he's a film critic. He offers a lot of unsolicited judgements and opinions, and he's an insufferable blowhard.
So...maybe a "negative currency"?
Here's the weird thing, though. And I think this is anomalous. I have a friend my age who I've gone in and out of touch with over a lifetime. He recently bought a turntable and started collecting vinyl. Like a lot of old guys, he kind of got into "semi-optimal sound" as a result of being blown away by what he was hearing. He will occasionally ask me about these sort of "heritage titles", and...since he asked, I feel like I can make some effort to muster a semi-useful opinion. Maybe even some "Well, since you like x and y, I might cautiously recommend z." It's a result of a life lived with this obsession, so...a semi useful currency, but...again, you can not imagine how gently I approach and how lightly I step.
Do you feel like you wasted some part of your life chasing that thing?
No! I love this shit. I still go down weird Wikipedia rabbit holes, and read rock bios (a friend told me I have an iron clad stomach for this sort of thing, and he's probably not far of the mark). Again, being surrounded by mostly musicians and afficionados...you don't necessarily need to be "the big shit". So...yeah, it's an area of interest that I enjoy. "Wasted" seems extreme, and I would say the same for movie buffs, or foodies, or...surely you're lucky to be this into a thing, right?
Are we all just walking cliches (like the comic book guy in The Simpsons)?
Surely, we're more than that. We're parents, friends, etc. - I think, again, the tendency is towards adaptable behavior. I don't think anyone is presenting more than "dude really digs music" to the real world at this point.
I've met the overly-engaged types before and found them a bit...sneering and unlikable. Hopefully, we all take that sort of thing in and adjust accordingly. I may still have a little karma to walk off.
Are you still clinging to this particular identity?
No.
Seriously folks… what the fuck are we all doing with our lives?
At this point? Listening to music, and obsessing for my own pleasure. It's obsessive/compulsive, but...so is injecting drugs or gambling. I think we'll be fine. I also think the median age here is pretty "soberly assessing" of our own bullshit, on average.
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Post by davey on Jan 11, 2024 23:26:20 GMT
Some great posts. I was in a mood when I put the OP up.
There’s a thing I see sometimes amongst folks who publicly obsess about anything (and the internet has made this a golden age of doing so publicly). A kind of hive-mind tribalism where certain unwritten rules become implicit. Where you get kind of roped into a common aesthetic or value system.
Case in point, why would anyone bother with a sketch like this (whether you think it’s funny or not) if some of this shit wasn’t at least recognizable?
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fange
god
Listening to long jazz tracks
Posts: 4,559
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Post by fange on Jan 12, 2024 0:02:54 GMT
This is for me, the essence of true romance. Sharing the things we know and love with those of my kind.
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Post by Stacy Heydon on Jan 12, 2024 0:06:51 GMT
I let it go a while back.
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Post by DayoRemix on Jan 12, 2024 1:58:01 GMT
Pretty sure Mike & the Mechanics is a warning sign for child abuse..
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Post by adamcoan on Jan 12, 2024 7:39:11 GMT
I just listen to music continually, always have. Occasionally , very occasionally I meet someone in the flesh who talks about it. Its mostly enjoyable when that happens. I am glad that music forums exist. I now have somewhere to go when something wonderful comes to me and I can save myself the embarrassment of asking " fucking hell, have you heard this album!!" With zero return from friends or family.
I sometimes forget the lesson I learned years ago.
Bob Dylan's best song is stuck in the middle with you.
It isn't Bob Dylan, it's Gerry Rafferty
No, its Bob Dylan, I've got the fucking record !
Yeah, he's right mate. It is Bob Dylan.
You have to let it go.
If you do meet someone who shares the love it can be exhilarating, like the most beautiful woman in the room only wants to talk with you, while others look on, puzzled. No one understands why you loudly announce fucks sake ! because marc Jacobs is using a Suicide track to advertise Daisy perfume. Occasionally, someone will ask who's that by while a movie is playing. Its a personal thing as you get older , listening to music. Everyone else it seems are more preoccupied with life and stuff. Even the music section in the pub quiz is now to be avoided. I don't know any lady ga ga songs or my Beyonce from Dua Lipa. So, you just smile and say yeah when someone asks if you know that Nick Cave does the theme tune to Peaky Blinders and say no when someone asks you what Led Zeps only number one single was.
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Post by DarknessFish on Jan 12, 2024 8:05:21 GMT
Spotting music in a film, that's the chink in the armour that reveals the geek underneath. Nothing stops me pointing out those obscure tracks that occasionally appear, or pointing out that a film set in 1978 should not be using Joy Division on the soundtrack.
That's when I realise I'm as sad as my mate who'll point out armies using the wrong type of gun in battle scenes.
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Post by DayoRemix on Jan 12, 2024 9:44:30 GMT
I've been lucky enough to have been surrounded by music and film obsessives all my life. Makes being this way much easier..With music, many of them don't match my particular tastes, but the differences enhance the conversations.
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Post by Half Machine Lipschitz on Jan 12, 2024 14:39:38 GMT
At the time I thought I was in the right, but looking back at the night I somehow wound up chatting with Dave Pirner from Soul Asylum in the bar I worked at (I was a cook and was just hanging around after my shift) and being incredulous about the fact that he hadn't heard of an act I was somewhat evangelical about back then makes me feel slightly embarrassed. Nowadays I'm happily ensconced in the "if someone asks, I'll answer" camp, but I prefer not to initiate any conversations about music, unless it's with a like-minded friend.
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